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moving | personal
Today has been a little tough emotionally and I wanted to get my thoughts out. Not for pity or sympathy .. just to have them out of my head. I apologise if its jumbled..that's how my thoughts feels right now.. And please feel free to skip reading this post and just look at the pretty pictures:)
I am getting asked "how are you?" a lot lately, and to be honest, it's one of the hardest questions to answer. I have a mental battle as to whether they are asking out of politeness and just want to heard the generic "great", or if they really want to know..in which case I struggle to find the right words to answer. I am looking forward with anticipation and excitement, happy to start my new adventure in the west. And at the same time, I am desperately sad about the life I am leaving behind, the friends, clients, and comfort in the familiarity of my surrounds. These past 4 months have been the toughest of my life so far. Being on one side of the country while my husband & kids are on the other is hard. Skype is amazing and it softens the dull ache of missing them and the loneliness of this big house for moments everyday, but then the quiet returns. I am so busy with work and weddings, for which I am ever SO grateful. I love LOVE and being surrounded by it every weekend (and reminded of it while I edit the images during the week) is one of the biggest joys of my life. I am grateful I get to live the life I love, taking photos, capturing precious memories and being included in so many people's special moments. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I only have 3 more weddings here in the east until I become a permanent resident of WA. On June 1 I am flying out of NSW and everything we own is following behind me in a huge shipping container. I will back back at the end of the year and into 2013 for more fabulous weddings and that makes me so happy that I get to visit regularly.
My life kind of feels like a roller coaster right now. Moments of joy and exhilaration, mixed with clunky turns, uncertainty and feelings of nervousness and fear. Traveling back and forth is like flipping a coin... 2 sides..both good but different. Last week I was in Perth in shorts playing at the beach with my kids, this week in Wollongong I am in ugg boots and raking up fallen leaves from my front lawn. The contrast of my life..
My kids are flourishing in perth ... and they are growing up so quickly.. I suppose you really notice the change when you don't see them everyday. Jack is so tall now..so gangly and goofy. He loves football and being outside. He chats away to himself constantly, a running commentary on everything he does... which is both hilarious and kind of annoying. I am thinking the sunshine and western climate is good for his growth because he is almost at my chin height now. He turns 7 at the end of June and is now well and truly taller than his older sister. Lucy is loving WA too. She loves the beach, being outside, and all her new friends. She has settled so well ..I am in awe of how resilient she has been (being as emotional as her Mum). She is laughing more, trying new things, and not giving up on herself so easily..and I love that! I cannot wait to be back with these 2 everyday..
One of the hardest parts of moving is selling our home. I designed and built this home for us to grow in as a family. I planned to live here forever.. I built it for us, and it is totally ME. Within days of going on the market, we had found the perfect buyer and we have now sold our beautiful home to that lovely family, who I know will love it the way we have. Selling a house is not the most fun thing I have ever done, but I am so grateful for the guidance, support and help that Michael and Aimee at Dougmal real estate provided. With me being here and Brad being in perth, it made some things tough and they have handled everything with ease and calm..which I needed more than anything most of the time. They are awesome and I would highly recommend them to anyone selling their home.... thank you Michael & Aimee! I have plans being drawn up for our new "old house" and I am excited to renovate, decorate and make it ours later this year.
So I am fine, great, good...all those generic answers to the question "how are you?".. and I am a whole bunch of other things to. I am mostly grateful. Grateful for my job, my family, my friends and clients. For their support, understanding, patience and concern. I am in limbo but looking for the silver lining every chance I get. I was thinking of having a farewell "party" but that felt kind of weird..so instead I'll be sending out a general invitation to come have a drink with me on the Friday 25th May. Let me know if you want to come along and I'll send you the details. Be warned, I will probably cry! Enough of my rambling..I have work to do... xxx jk